Shikagoland Reads the Headlines

One day when I have built my media empire, I will have peons tasked with writing witty intros for my blog entries.

We’re not there yet.

The Obamas basically invited their favourite celebs round for a house party last night- you’ll never guess who sat next to Michelle… – Yes, that is the actual headline. I had no idea Rush was writing articles for the Mirror. This is a level of hateration that few can achieve. And to add the cherry: they imply the The First Lady of the United States of America (respect her authority please) wants to smang George Clooney. Classy.

Mrs. Obama - "Oh how lovely. One of the rooms we don't use has the same wallpaper".

Encyclopedia Britannica to stop printing books – I kinda feel like a jerk because I just assumed that had already happened. I was the dorky kind of kid who occasionally read the Encyclopedia for fun (I also walked uphill in a snowstorm with newspaper strapped to my feet) and shed a tear when some of our family’s set got destroyed in a basement flood. Time they are a changing. These kids these days have no idea.

Have online comment sections become a ‘joke’? – Pshh. Real America is in the comments. Ain’t nuthin’ funny about that.

Peter Facinelli and Jennie Garth are divorcing – In an interview Ms. Garth stated “I choose me”. Dylan McKay was unavailable for comment.

In local news: The Bulls beat the Miami Heat last night with Derrick Rose on the bench. AND IT WAS BEAUTIFUL. In a unprecedented development we learned that former development league player John Lucas III has been sleeping on Benny the Bull’s Couch.

Obligatory

Someone decided there needed to be a remake of Total Recall. There is now a teaser trailer. (…link is of dubious safety) My take? John Cho is in it and he has blonde hair. OPENING WEEKEND, KIDS!

HBO’s ‘Luck’ canceled after third horse dies – So wait…all we had to do to get rid of Entourage was….

Ok. That was terrible.

To make up for it, have a video of a cat riding a turtle.

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