In an attempt to offset the singular focus of #ThickNeckedWhiteBoo Wednesdays over on Twitter (get familiar) we here at Shikagoland (parent company of ThickNeckedWhiteBoo Inc.) introduce Man Candy Mondays. Instead of focusing on the parts we love (thick necks and, briefly ManThighs), ManCandyMonday focuses on the whole man. The tall man. The short man. The thick man. The Slim Man. The older man. The younger man. Just…MEN.
Today’s Theme Music is provided by Bruno Mars.
And the video just happens to feature the gorgeous lady friend of our first man on the docket…
Dev Patel – We all came to know Dev as the main character in Slumdog Millionaire and it makes me so happy that he has been able to craft a real career after appearing in such a huge movie his first go round. Cause that means I get to see his pretty face. A lot.
Elijah Wood – some girls like tall men. And muscle-y men. And men without enormous blue eyes that are at turns cute or creepy. And then there are those of us who like Elijah Wood.
Alexander Skarsgard – from the moment his character on True Blood complained about the blood from the body of the person he has just killed ruining his highlights I was sold. I have hung on to that crap fest for multiple seasons all because of this beautiful bastard. Damn him.
So when I was sourcing these pics (my job, is so hard) I kept noticing all these pics of Alexander hugging and touching and gazing lovingly into the eyes of his co-stars/friends/etc.
So as a bonus here is a collage of Alexander hugging and touching and gazing lovingly into the eyes of his co-stars/friends/etc.
Pharrell – a amazing musician ( can I haz another N.E.R.D. album plz?), a fashion icon, and obviously damn good looking. And I may have started using Cetaphil to wash my face when I heard that he did. No regrets.
Chiwetel Ejiofor – the first thing I ever saw Chiwetel in was Love Actually in which the completely undeserving Keira Knightley somehow stopped staring at his face long enough to go make out with Rick from the Walking Dead. I just…why?
Michael Rosenbaum – I don’t understand what Michael has against being relevant but its starting to irritate me. Because I’m the kind of silly fangirl who thinks about these things I really feel like he is wasting his time in trying to be a Drama!Actor. With the exception of his epic role as Lex Luthor on the epicly terribad Smallville (which I suffered through for multiple seasons just for him…I’m detecting a pattern here), his strength is is comedy. COME BACK TO US, Michael.
David “Big Papi” Ortiz – I don’t do the baseball so I don’t know much about Big Papi. But a friend suggested him and after a quick Google search I’m pretty much in love with his smile. I want to snuggle him. And shave off his questionable facial hair.
Jesse Williams – So…reasons to love Jesse Williams..his eyes…he used to be a teacher so he’s all smart and whatnot…his body…his Instagram which is basically nothing but shot of him being pretty and eating amazing food…he writes stuff like this…he’s like really pretty you guys…he’s a huge sports fan…my god he is BEAUTIFUL…he dares wear short shorts…
Joey Fatone – Joey was always my favorite. Except when Lance was. It was complicated. Joey Fatone helped me realize my true calling as a chubby chaser. Yes, my friends, despite all the well muscled beefcake that grace #ManCandyMonday and #ThickNeckedWhiteBoo Wednesday, what gets me going is a full set of cheeks and a soft gut. Keep your abs. Give me thighs that wobble. Bonus points if you’re a biggun with some height because apparently I have some Paul Bunyun issues that need to be worked out.
And now, as a bonus, I present the Burgess boys. My friend @jackandahat sent me these pics a few weeks ago. I don’t know them. I don’t know what they do. I’m sure they play a sport of some sort. But…sweet baby Jesus who cares. JUST LOOK AT THEM.
Didn’t see your favorite tasty treat listed above? Leave a comment or send a email to firstname.lastname@example.org and let me know who you’d like to see as Monday Man Candy! It takes a village.