Shikagoland…Defends Beyonce

I usually try to stay away from personal topics in this space but sometimes…sometimes you just can’t help it. Today is one of those days. So. Here goes.

I, Shikagoland am not a fan of Beyonce.

*holds for gasping and wailing and praying over my dead withered soul*

This is what ALL my nightmares are made of.

This is what ALL my nightmares look like.

I have often pondered whether or not I should address this topic on my blog but I have refrained because:

  1. Beyonce stans are crazy and I’m not interested in a flame war.
  2. I’m lazy.
  3. Beyonce stans TERRIFY ME.
  4. It doesn’t matter.
  5. Did I mention the stans?

Anyways, this morning I saw some rumblings on Twitter about Beyonce’s supposed risque costume and dance routine at the Super Bowl.

Um, what?

In the interest of full disclosure, I missed most of her performance. By coincidence the salmon I had cooking was done JUST as the lights dimmed in the stadium (well. The time it happened on purpose anyway) and I may have taken extra time chopping the olives and capers for my salad and….ok. That was all on purpose. I did make it back in the living room in time to see her assign Kelly and Michelle their roles as backup singers on HER song (which is just…never mind), notice Kelly’s newly acquired  jelly (ma’am I am SO READY), and realize that Michelle’s mic wasn’t even on. So shady.

The point is, I didn’t see the whole show. So I clicked on a link to a Today Show article detailing Beyonce’s alleged offenses

And then I got mad.

And then I went to twitter. As I do. (and if you’ve ever wondered why I never get around to blogging? Twitter is to blame. ALWAYS)

Shikagoland Proudly Presents: In Which The Author Has To Defend Beyonce First Thing on A Monday Morning and Feels Extremely Icky About It Because OMG Beyonce is a Fembot And I Just Can’t With Her

*ahem*

https://twitter.com/xicacha/status/298461873521709057

https://twitter.com/xicacha/status/298462000441339906

https://twitter.com/xicacha/status/298462242901458944

https://twitter.com/xicacha/status/298462719949021184

Hmmmm…I wonder what the difference is….

https://twitter.com/xicacha/status/298462937520156672

I have LONGED for a opportunity to use the phrase “pop dat pussy on a handstand” in this blog for AGES.

https://twitter.com/xicacha/status/298463129329876994

https://twitter.com/xicacha/status/298463314978164736

https://twitter.com/xicacha/status/298463701214822400

https://twitter.com/xicacha/status/298464310911455233

https://twitter.com/xicacha/status/298465580208513024

Also, his new song SUCKS. And the fact that he was never made to answer for this abomination of a “song”….well…

https://twitter.com/xicacha/status/298465795619581952

Ok, I wandered a but at the end there, but you get my point.

There is plenty to criticize Beyonce for (despite what her devotees claim), but wearing a leotard and dancing during the half time show ain’t it.

Anyways, the REAL winner of the Super Bowl was all of us who got to feast on the hotness of Colin Kaepernick in those pre-game packages Kelly Rowland. Red beans and rice ain’t missed her.

KRowlegend

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