Shikagoland Reads the Headlines

Yeah yeah yeah.
Worst blogger ever.

Lets move on.

Dita Von Teese is putting out a beauty book and as a girl who has NEVER been able to keep the seams on her stockings straight…I am intensely excited about it. But lest you think Dita’s tome will only cover the finer points of keeping your skin vampire white and having really really shiny hair, please read this quote from the diva herself: “My beauty book is going to be totally different from what’s out there. I’m going to tell you that you have to pluck the nipple hairs off your nipples before a date—I’m here to tell you that.” AMEN, sister.
Wino Forever Winona Ryder is apparently totally game for a Beetlejuice sequel. I was excited about this for about 36 seconds and then I remembered that I can just go watch the old one whenever I want. Look, you guys got away with actually having a cartoon based off that movie that wasn’t total crap. Quite while you’re ahead.

You can’t improve on perfection, folks.
While the rest of the internet was working itself up into a lather over some new tech toy that is almost exactly the same as a product they already have the iPad mini, Zynga, pushers of Facebook games like Farmville and Cityville (AKA the only reason I even logged into Facebook during a brief sad period circa spring 2011), laid off a bunch of employees. Leaving them plenty of time to…no, thats cruel.

So Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel got married and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Oh! Sorry. I ran out of giveafucks and nodded off for a moment there. My bad. Anyway, here is the wedding photo they sold to People.

Of course.

The Kardashians are doing a Klothing Kollection for Konline  Kretailer Dorthy Perkins. It looks…pretty much like what you’d expect. Krappy.
If you are like me and take perverse pleasure in looking at fabulous homes while being the master of a one-bedroom apartment, then this slideshow featuring the priciest zip codes in the Chicagoland area is right up your alley.

Its 80 degrees in Chicago today. And its Wednesday. And my football team is 5-1. Lets celebrate this with my song of the week.

I’m usually not here for twee hisptery covers of rap songs…but for some reason this works for me. For now.

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