Shikagoland’s 10 Things

Its not a top ten. Its not the top news. Its the 10 things rattling around in my brain right now and you will deal.

1. Writer’s block is terrible. I’ve been writing a different post for like three days. And its awesome in my head. But in the cold empty text block of WordPress? It sucks. *sets blog on fire*

2. Last week my building got around to installing fire extinguishers in the hallways of my building. They didn’t bother to sweep up the dust from drilling the holes. Upon seeing them, I realized that the fire detector that went on the ceiling of the hallway area was removed at least a year ago. My house burned down when I was in the fourth grade and as a result I’m a pyrophobic (not even sure if this is a real word but we’re going with it) pyromaniac and basically the coolest person you’ll ever meet. I can’t even burn candles in my apartment (for fear of like, a stray ember setting my couch on fire) but I love the smell of  things burning and the act of…setting shit on fire. So I guess my pyrophobic side was probably really concerned about the lack of fire detector but my pyromanic side was like…but think about how good all those candles you bought but never lit will smell burning all at once!

3. Joe Manganiello is basically a gift from god.

Basically, I would beg him to do things to me that aren’t legal in at least 3 or 4 states.

4. Have you ever sat back and thought about how creepy Twitter can be? I mean some people are cool and never reveal anything personal about themselves on social media, but for most of us, you’re putting yourself out there to the vast wasteland of the internet and its surprising that it doesn’t come back to bite most of us in the ass. I mean, if you’re out there posting pictures of your dick next to a Comcast remote as a size comparison naughty pictures, I suppose you are looking for some sort of attention. But I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen pictures float across my TL that weren’t really meant for the whole world, and everyone is making fun of the subject of said photos. On occasion Twitter is just a table full of mean girls making fun of the fat girl for having the audacity to exist in the same space.

5. But back to Twitter creepiness. I think I turned into a twitter creep last week? IDK. Lets just say that I started following this guy on Twitter for TOTALLY LEGIT reasons (REALLY!) and now I’m like “omg wtf he’s so smart/hilarious/sarcastic/into sports/was he this cute at first?”  and now I feel kinda creepy because of it? And then somehow I decided that he figured out that I was creepy because he never followed me back (note: I follow nearly 500 people. I have 199 followers. I NEVER care when someone doesn’t follow me back) and now i hate myself. My only solace? That I know I’m just being crazy and this person will continue to not know I exist. *fist pump*

6. Oh yeah. I totally meant to not talk about personal stuff here. WHOOPS. Doesn’t matter. Most of the people who end up here are just looking for kpop stuff anyways and will never actually see this. One of these days? I’m totally gonna get around to actually launching that kpop site I’ve purchased webspace for, designed, and commissioned a custom logo for.

7. This is the best video you will watch ever this week. If you disagree? Well…just keep it to yourself, kay? I’m partying over here.

OPPAN KANGNAM STYLE!

But if anyone knows why Hyuna doesn’t have any eyebrows? Hit a sista up. I mean, she had them in Bubble Pop.

(Come for the cheese! Stay for the horrendous “dubstep” breakdown!)

8. People who have auto-play music on their webpages need to die slow.

9. This weekend the Taste of Chicago took place in Chicago. Every time I see pictures from the event I am astounded that anyone still goes to that absolute waste of time. Crowds, insanely expensive tickets, and only the blandest and most uninspired food offerings. Any number of Chicago neighborhoods do better on any given weekend. No festival required.

10. This needs to be in my mouth IMMEDIATELY

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