Shikagoland Reads the Headlines

Its gorgeous and sunny outside and I’m stuck inside.

Lets do this.

Rush Limbaugh is a sexist racist pig. – Water is wet. Bears shit in the woods. And apparently use toilet paper. I think the most maddening thing about Rush’s little rant to me is his insistence that birth control is something you take based on how much sex you have. Like…whew, this is gonna be a big weekend! I better hydrate and double up on my birth control pills! Its not…VIAGRA or anything.

For the new commercial for “MLB: The Show 12”, they simulate what it might look like if/when the Cubs finally win the World Series, complete with a Weiner Circle celebration and absolute madness on Clark St. Thoughts? – My thoughts? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


IKEA to Sell Full Houses: I currently have an IKEA couch in my apartment that I have shoved against a wall because I lost the screw that was supposed to anchor the arm of the couch INSIDE SAID ARM. So. I think I’ll pass.

81 Year Old Woman Wins Powerball Jackpot: now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m about to go check to hopefully discover a relative I was previously unaware of. Preferably one who just won $336 million dollars.

Man Sues AMC Movie Theater Over High Cost of Snacks:Has this dude never heard of a book bag and the candy section at Walgreens? But this reminds me, I need to call my lawyer and get an update of my lawsuit against my friend for taking me to a free screening of Clash of The Titans. *shudders* Release the bullshit.

Toddler Swallows 37 magnets, survives – Her father blames AMC. If snacks didn’t cost so much, his daughter wouldn’t have had to eat his desk toys.

Feisty Girl Scouts try to fight off cookie money bandit outside Wal-Mart:  Wow. I had no idea Newt Gingrich was that hard up for campaign money. (sidenote: this author does not condone children attempting to act as crime fighters. Its dangerous.)

But at least the girls got a new badge out of it!

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